I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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