He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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