I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
