just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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