she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
