some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
