heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
