I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
