Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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