I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
