Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
