What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
