All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
