Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
