So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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