This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
