did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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