The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
