Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
