how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
