I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize