i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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