Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Are my feet made of real feet?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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