he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
