Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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