you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
