i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
