god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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