it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
