Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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