I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My life is pants optional.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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