STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize