Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
