She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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