Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
