can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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