Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I need help removing her.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
