Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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