I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
