I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
