I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
