I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
