just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize