It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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