I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
