I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
