We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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