Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My cat gives me a boner
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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