Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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