oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize