Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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