after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
