So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
