That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
