i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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