so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize