I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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