I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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