:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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