Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
