i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
