No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
