she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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