You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
not ubering you a puppy
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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