I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
