It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
