Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
