The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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