I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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