I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
