She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
