I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
