Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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