hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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