she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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