jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
