I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
