I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
